iPoo Toilet (update)
Attention: Product described below is satire, and should not be taken seriously.
March 8th, 2012 – Introducing the NEW iPoo Toilet
Yesterday we introduced the new iPoo, but our event overlapped with Apple’s introduction of their new iPad, so only 3 people came. It featured a man on the stage
talking taking $hit, and the whole audience applauded so hard, that half of them had to be hospitalized with palm injuries. Dr House said he had not seen such severe hand injuries since those several iPhone explosions.
“It makes the amazing improvements, over the most fundamental features, of the function of the Toilet” said our PR team chef and he pulled down his trousers. We did not decide how to call our new Toilet, but maybe we will use the very innovative name “the NEW iPoo”, or we will add an “S” at the end of the name, reading it “iPoo Ass”. One of our engineers suggested to call it “the iPooo” but he got fired for such a stupid suggestion… “the new iPoo” is so much better name!
The NEW iPoo features deeper water-hole, and a mirror in front of the hole… we call that “The Rectuma Display”. If you look down, it enables you to see everything more clearly, and gives you unique perspective on your everyday efforts. Everything else is the same, but we believe you will find some other reason to pay $$$ and switch to our “New iPoo”!
The Old iPoo
iPoo Toilet is a prestigious designer toilet.
We do not say it is a PT (Personal Toilet) even though it is not a public toilet.
Some people may think it looks like Apple logo, but I disagree. If you see Apple logo everywhere maybe you should see a psychiatrist and take a look at a few Rorschach inkblot cards. This is just the perfect shape for the toilet since it tightly fits the shape of a one’s bottom.
This design is not Apple affiliated, but you recognize that, since their product designs are superior shapes such as cubes, chamfered cuboids or very thin cuboids; and this design is a toilet in comparison.
Also, their UX designers like everything flying around, which is not very desirable in a function of a toilet.
Even though it is white and has one button, it does not mean it is an Apple product.
Unlike some Apple products, this toilet fully supports
This toilet has exactly the same function as any other toilet and costs only twice as much for the same performance; but you will agree it is all about style and taste, and you will look a lot cooler in your friends’ eyes when you say you use the iPoo Toilet instead of throwing your excrement through the bathroom WINDOWS.
Many of our power users were intimidated with standard 2 buttons, and even have had bladder shyness. So our top UX designers came up with this: a button!
We have invented the toilet, and have patented hole in the toilet, water in a hole and seating! Other manufacturers shamelessly stole our ideas!
Toilet seat is even thinner than Macbook Air, made from the same superb material, so you can wipe urine splatters just as easily.
Some say computer keyboards are five times dirtier than toilet seats, but our toilet seat is 5 times cleaner than computer keyboards!
We will make commercials personifying our toilet by a guy with hair, and a standard PT with a guy with less hair. You will be convinced that standard toilets usually are user unfriendly, most of the time clogged, or sometimes do not recognize your bottom… and enhance hair-loss!
After purchasing this toilet you can claim you are a great designer! University art degree is not required! Just sit down and input your regular excrement in it.
This toilet is compatible with iPod, iPad 3, iPhone 5 and Macbook Air. Playing Angry Birds while on our iPoo Toilet will enable you to break the boundaries of you productivity and set the new high scores!
Please help promoting iPoo Toilet with poster above and a link to this website, since we can not yet afford financing appearance in movies featuring famous actors using our toilet.
In regard to some mail I got inquiring about the ordering process, I must disappoint you since this is non-existent product made only in the form of renderings for the purposes of satire/parody/joke (please read the disclaimer). It can not ever be made into a real product since I do not have rights over Apple Inc logo.
PLEASE, if you are re-blogging this, make sure not to confuse the readers. Always state that this is a fictional product! Also link back to this page so the readers can read the disclaimer.
This page was created for entertainment purposes. It is in no way affiliated with Apple inc. The mention of Apple and its products are not meant to suggest any support, authority, or permission from said entity.
All references to trademarked or copyrighted materials, is for purposes of satire, parody, and/or spoof. All trademarks and copyrights are property of the respective owners.
I am not responsible about any content outside this page.
All of the opinions expressed or implied on this site are solely mine, and do not reflect the views Apple Inc. or other, and are not meant to intentionally or unintentionally offend, berate, slander, or annoy, any individual, group, or organization.
Due to the nature of the content presented here, I recognize that from time to time readers might find some of the satire or parody offensive. To any readers whose sensibilities have been offended, I offer my sincerest apologies in advance.
HEY! If you are a Windows user maybe you can help me with something with 2 minutes of your time. Please let me know how many drives you use in this survey: